Turn It In Comments: Areas to work on..

I definitely need to manage my time more wisely.. Most of the mistakes that I made could have been fixed simply by reviewing the essay. By editing the essay the many of the phrasings would be less awkward. Also, by prepping more and allowing more time to write the essay, the claims made would be more thought out. Moreover, the point of the essay was not too convincing due to lack of analysis. Instead of proving a point, I kind of rambled about the general idea rather than structuring evidence and analysis to support the claims made. The essay digresses from topic to topic which means I need to work on focusing on one point and fully developing it. The thesis is also too general and I am going to make it more controversial. I do not think this essay is my best work. If I allow more time and revise the essay I'll show my true potential.